Jacob's Story
by dyingmiko06
Summary: Jacob's feelings about being a werewolf, staring the song Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace. Eclipse and New Moon spoilers. r & r.


I was shaking, uncontrollably. The only emotion I could was anger and fear. My mind was screaming trying to know what was going on. Billy stared at me, phone in his hand. I saw red-brown fur sprouting from my hands. "Dad-"

My voice caught and I couldn't speak. I started to shrink, and landed on both my hands and legs. I tried to scream but all that came out was a howl. I shook with fear when I realized that it had come from me.

_"Jacob Black, calm down." _

I cursed. Now I was hearing voices in my head and Sam Uley's voice of all people!

_"Sweet! Jacob you're part of us now!" _

_"Embry?" _I thought I knew that voice.

_"Hell yea!"_

Now I knew I was going crazy. I backed away from Billy who was still staring at me. I could smell indecision on him, like he didn't know what he should do. Without thinking, I turned and ran through the open kitchen door. It was raining, as usual, I turned for the woods.

_I can't escape this hell_

I ran and ran, miles on end. The rain didn't bother me, I barely noticed it. No, what mattered to me was that I was running on all fours. What mattered was that I was covered with fur. I had turned into a wolf.

_So many times I've tried_

I was running from it, from the wolf. What was this? How the hell did this happen? Was I some sort of freak? A monster? How would I change back? Could I change back? What about Billy? My heart stopped for a moment. What about Bella?

_But there's still rage inside_

I stopped running. Bella. I had to get to Bella. She'd accept me, no matter what. I couldn't stay away from her, even if I was trapped in a wolf's body.

_"Jacob, stay where you are. You are not allowed to go see Bella." _It was Sam again.

_"You can't tell anyone about what you are. That includes Bella. You are dangerous." _

I howled. This couldn't be happening. No, I couldn't not see Bella. I almost laughed, thinking about Sam trying to keep Bella away from me.

I almost went crazy then. Five enormously huge wolves surrounded me. The only one I could see for sure was the leader. He was huge, with pitch black fur. _"Jacob, it's okay. Calm down." _

_Somebody get me through this nightmare!_

_I can't control myself!_

Change to scene in forest with Bella meeting the other wolves. Paul and Jacob are fighting in the forest.

I changed lightening fast, it didn't even phase me. I was ready for Paul before he was done changing. I vaguely remembered Bella behind me, seeing me change.

_So what if you can see_

_The darkest side of me?! _

_No one will ever change this animal I have become_

Change to scene in the meadow:

I walked to Bella, grinning as best as I could in wolf form. Bella smiled at me, like she wasn't mad that I was the reason she wore a metal brace on her right hand. I walked closer to her and licked her face. She was the only one that didn't make me feel like a monster.

_Help me believe, it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal!_

I was running again. Bella's wedding invitation had set me off. As dumb as it sounded, I was running from her happiness. And, I was hurting her again.

_I can't escape myself_

_(I can't escape myself)_

I told her, no, promised her, that I'd never hurt her. Yet over and over again, I broke my promise to her.

_So many times I've lied_

_(so many times I've lied) _

And yet, even knowing that I was hurting her, I was still angry. She had chosen _him _over me. She chose that filthy bloodsucker over me!

_But there's still rage inside_

And still, he had the guts to invite me to their _wedding_

_Somebody get me through this nightmare_

_I can't control myself_

Bella's face flashed through my mind.

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me?!_

_No one will ever change this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal!_

Running farther and farther away. Sam told me I could. They'd be waiting when I got back. They were my only family now. The only ones I could trust. No more humans or filthy vampires. No more Bella

_Somebody help me through this nightmare_

_I can't control myself!_

_Somebody wake me from this nightmare_

_I can't escape this hell! _

I stayed out that night. I slept in an old tree, above the ground. Not that it would've mattered. There was nothing dangerous within a hundred miles of where I was…only because the bloodsuckers were over a hundred miles away…

I woke up knowing I had to go back. Sam wouldn't let me stay away for more than a night. And somebody would have to look after Billy.

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
No one will ever change this animal I have become_

I wandered back to the reservation, taking my time…thinking. When I was on Quiluete land, I searched for Sam and the other's minds.

_"We're at Emily's. Billy is with us." _It was Sam…trying to welcome me back.

_  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become_

I went to my house, not wanting to be in the same room with Sam and Emily. The love would be too much to handle. Even with the entire pack there, especially with the entire pack there. They'd all be watching me…something I didn't want.

_  
Help me believe it's not the real me_

I curled into a ball on my bed…it was funny how I seemed to fit better in it when I was in my wolf form.

_  
Somebody help me tame this animal_

Sam brought Billy back later on in the night. They went to my room, knowing I was there…but still checking in. Sam eyed me, almost a scathing look. I raised my head a fraction of an inch, and growled.

_  
(This animal I have become)_

He nodded and walked away. Billy looked at me before wheeling himself away as well. "Welcome home," he whispered.


End file.
